What'd I Miss? Alternate
by Blackspots
Summary: I love this, only because of how stupid it is. Looking for a good laugh? Only read if you're in the mood. It has dark themes. Basically, Ferb comes home from Debate Camp, but not to a squirrel story. No. Not a single squirrel is mentioned. Nor harmed. Which is better than can be said for the humans. There is no reason or rhyme to this. Period.


**If you look at the reviews, you will see that there are a couple people who were...less than pleased by the story, so I'm putting up a warning. I wrote this purely for amusement. It's just something I found would be funny, especially the last one in my opinion. NONE OF IT WOULD EVER HAPPEN. I know that, hence it being for amusement. So read at your own risk. I apologize to those people who read it and didn't find amusement in it. I didn't say it so it is kinda my fault. But anyone else after this, I put up this warning. Again, read at your own risk. If you think the warning isn't clear enough, let me know with ****_specifics_**** on what you think should be expanded on. Thank you, and hopefully, if you read, you will get a few laughs.**

* * *

Ferb walked into his backyard, Perry in tow, to find Phineas and Isabella sitting under the tree, staring at each other. Normally, Phineas would have been all over Ferb about camp by now, but he didn't even notice Ferb at all until the boy coughed beside him. Phineas looked up and smiled.

"Ferb! You're back!"

Ferb nodded, noticing the closeness between the two under the tree. "Where are Baljeet and Buford?" Phineas exchanged a nervous glance with Isabella. Ferb knew he missed something, "Okay, what'd I miss?"

Phineas shifted, "Well, Baljeet got into a really bad fight with Buford and Buford was REALLLLLYYY upset about it. So upset that he...took a knife to his throat. But afterwards, Buford felt so bad about it that he took the knife to his own throat, too."

Isabella continued, "Ginger was so unbelievably upset by Baljeet's death that she attempted to kill herself too, but luckily her parents caught her in time. The entire Fireside Girl troop 46231, me included, were so shocked by everything that happened, the troop disbanded."

Phineas took over again, "And since Ginger tried to kill herself, Stacy became anorexic with self blame, so Candace became anorexic, too. Cause we ALL know Candace is nothing but a follower. She has to do EVERYTHING Stacy does. And who knows what Jeremy is going through since Suzy was hospitalized with insanity. Who didn't know that was coming?"

"Irving and Django apparently had gone on a month long honeymoon already," Isabella mentioned, "What's with that?"

Phineas rolled his eyes, "And the fact that now Jenny decided to be a canibal to help with her world peace campaign and Love Handel replaced Mayor Doofenshmirtz as mayors."

Isabella nudged Phineas, "You're forgetting that one detail, Phineas."

Phineas glared at Isabella, but was instantly replaced by a happy trance. Isabella tilted her head towards Ferb, breaking the trance. Phineas sighed, "Uh, also, you know that one girl? The girl you like? Well she ended up with severe alcohol poisoning after her parents decided to get back together. Why, I have no idea, but they didn't say much else than that."

"Oh! And Pinky has fleas now," Isabella added.

Phineas laughed, "Yeah!"

Ferb's eyes were wide, surprised, pained, horrified, and confused, "And you two?"

Phineas and Isabella looked at each other, smiling, "We're together now."

"Excuse me, I have to make a stop at the gun shop."

"Okay, Ferb," Phineas responded, not really paying attention. He was staring into Isabella's eyes again while she stared into his.

Perry blinked, wondering where everything went wrong.

* * *

That was the legit original.

And for an alternate ending for those who absolutely hate the one above!

* * *

"Excuse me, I have to make a stop at the gun shop."

"Okay, Ferb," Phineas responded, not really paying attention. He was staring into Isabella's eyes again while she stared into his.

Ferb walked into the house without another word. The two under the tree waited until he was inside to break their act.

"Do you think he knows its a joke?" Isabella asked.

Phineas shrugged, "I don't know. All I can think about is your eyes."

Isabella giggled, "Well, we did tell the truth about one thing."

"Yes, yes we did," Phineas said, staring again. Isabella was too wrapped in the attention to think of Ferb anymore.

* * *

This was the original alt ending.

And now you can hate me even more.

I almost encourage you to flame. Almost.

* * *

Another alt ending! Because someone suggested it and I liked the idea so I'm adding it.

* * *

"Excuse me, I have to make a stop at the gun shop."

"Okay, Ferb," Phineas responded, not really paying attention. He was staring into Isabella's eyes again while she stared into his.

Ferb walked into the house without another word. The two under the tree waited until he was inside to break their act. They laughed.

"Did you see his face!?" Phineas asked. Isabella was laughing so hard she could barely keep her eyes open. They were still laughing when Ferb returned, this time with something in his outstretched hands.

Phineas looked up at Ferb. He hysterical laughing ceased. Isabella was still laughing. "Whoa! Dude! What are you doing!? Put that thing down, Ferb!"

Ferb's face was twisted in anger and pain he felt leftover from the original story, "How could you tell me those things and not feel anything about it? And worse, LAUGH about it!?"

Isabella gasped, seeing the gun in the boy's hand. She clung to Phineas for protection.

"Dude! It was only a joke!" Phineas explained, "Everyone is fine! Didn't you see Candace watching TV in the living room? Where did you get the gun anyway?"

Ferb kept the gun aimed at Phineas's head, "I found it in father's and mother's room." He shook his head, "Don't change the subject! Why would you tell me those things? Even for a joke?"

Phineas laughed nervously, "Okay, I get it. Bad joke. I'm sorry. Okay? You can put the gun away now."

Ferb's hand began to shake in his increased anger. This time he didn't say anything, only stared at Phineas, speaking to him the way he normally did.

Phineas's eyes widened in fear, "Isabella, run."

* * *

Well that was...intense. It's technically finished, but who knows when I'll terrorize these three again. Three alt endings in one day. Whoa.


End file.
